This, The Second Monday in October

Living in the shadow of the United States for most of my life I, like millions of other Canadians, have developed a healthy case of inadequacy in regards to our southern neighbours. For example, today (the 2nd Monday in October) is Thanksgiving in Canada and I have yet to be wished a 'Happy Thanksgiving' by any of my American colleagues. To be fair, this is a case of ignorance rather than arrogance on their part: it would just never ever occur to most Americans that Canadians would celebrate an "American" holiday on any other day than theirs. After all, they invented it, no?

Well, no.

In 1758 - a full 44 years before the first American thanksgiving - English navigator Martin Frobisher held a like-celebration in sub-zero temperatures on a windswept wasteland (in what would become the province of Newfoundland) by his near-mutinous crew. In the following century, Samuel de Champlain and the French settlers established the "Order of Good Cheer" which held, among other events, harvest celebrations sharing their food with the indigenous population. The modern Canadian Thanksgiving bears little resemblance to its colonialist predecessors and pays mere lip service to its American counterpart (a 4-day eating, shopping & football marathon at the end of November); like everything else in Canada, ours is relatively low-key.

This year, there is neither a Tofurky roasting in my oven nor cranberry sauce bubbling on the stove but I am still able to pause and give thanks for ...

• the fact that Mr. Cat in Rabat possesses questionable taste in women, zero common sense & no long-term vision, effectively demonstrated when he asked me to marry him,
• cats, camels & donkeys (don't ask),
  
• the Mediterranean Sea. Just knowing it's there makes living in Morocco do-able.
• alcohol in all of its glorious manifestations (dry countries just suck),
  
• reruns of Seinfeld,
• palm trees,
  
• basmati rice,
• Canadian troops aren't in Iraq (Afghanistan is enough horror),
  
• 2-ply toilet paper,
• Hallowe'en,
  
• cartoons don't offend me unless they're not funny
  
• the parents that the gods gave me. I had both feet firmly planted in adulthood before I realised how exceptionally fortunate I was,
• high-speed internet,
• I have 2 kidneys (you never know),
  
• Peter Gabriel
  
• cambozolla cheese,
• generic Tylenol with codeine,
• roach spray,
  
• always having a good book in hand,
• the kindness of strangers,
  
• no one made me a monkey sock doll when I was a child,
• pomegranates,
  
• a Canadian passport,
• 18/10 stainless steel flatware,
• ripple potato chips & french onion dip,
• Madonna's movie career is effectively over,
  
• soap in public washrooms,
• Sharpie pens,
  
• all of the shitheads I've met along my journey who have honoured me with their contempt & disdain,
  
• all of the wonderfully neurotic, slightly insane & remarkable people I've met along my journey who have honoured me with their friendship and support, and lastly ...
• Elias Howe who in 1846 invented the sewing machine (that was for Knarf).
  

Thanks. And Happy Thanksgiving to everyone back home & a belated birthday to Knarf in the City (who has much to be thankful for this year).