Soap Sell

Well ... never one to resist a good buy in the medina, this morning I came upon a bar of Lady Diana Virginity Soap, sitting on the same shelf as those perennial favourites: Pretty Woman Bust Soap for Under-Developed Breasts (promisingly has coconuts on the cover) and Miss Beauty Acne Whitening Lobster Soap (with an equally promising zit-free crustacean). Since I am homeward bound tomorrow for a few weeks of R & R, I thought, what better gift for Mr. Cat in Rabat than a "touched for the very first time" virgin - even if it is one who, like Madonna, is rather questionably renewed. With a bar of soap. But won't he be thrilled!

Now according to the box, this "safe, mild & gentle" soap not only "clears out normal accumulations" (?) but (to quote the song) make "me feel shiny and new".

Directions for Use (insert sic's as necessary ~ CinR):

Uses Lady Diana Virginity Soap to tighten vaginal muscle and clean your secret area free of unpleasant odor. Use regularly twice daily, in the morning and night or as often as needed for more confidence and great feeling like a virgin.

Needless to say, I snatched a box.