Thursday, May 25, 2006

Cat (in Rabat) Has Gone to the Dogs

First of all, let me make 2 disclaimers:

1) I am a cat person (duhhh)
2) I like dogs, and ...

Okay, let me make 3 disclaimers:

1) I am a cat person (duhhh)
2) I like dogs
3) I like my apartment


Now having said all of that, I fear that I am slowly slipping over that slippery precipice of sanity into that deep black abyss of strait jackets and electric shock therapy. Why? The dogs in my neighbourhood won't shut up. At all. Woof woof woof. Bark bark bark. One starts. They all chime in. Woof woof woof. Bark bark bark. My frenzied cries, "Oh for the love of God, stop!" have no effect on them. To compound the problem, I live near several embassies so my theory is that these chatty canines are guard dogs, and have little to do but while away the hours having a good gab deep into the night. This is the only reason that I can account for the fact that their owners haven't throttled them by now - their owners live several continents away.

As an animal rights activist and a vegetarian, I now have more insight into why people leave poisoned kibble out for animals.

So I am in a quandary. I am actually considering moving from my nice little flat (which has, by the way, free heat in the winter!) in this nice little neighbourhood because of a pack of dogs. Am I not made of stronger stuff than this? Apparently not. My karma is to move from one home to another; my mantra (thanks to musician Joe Jackson) is,"When the going gets tough, we relocate". It is quite possible that I have moved more than any other single living being on the planet. If my life were the novel 1984, my Room 101 would have empty cardboard boxes and suitcases to fill.

To dispell these gloomy forebodings and to acquire a more profound understanding of dogs (and why they bark into the wee hours), I wondered: 'if I were a dog', what would I be? An elegant Irish Setter? A faithful Labrador Retriever? Sadly, my thoughts ran to the most annoying dog known to mankind, the Jack Russell Terrier but no! - instead - as seen below, I turn out to be a Miniature Poodle. Now I don't believe that I resemble this scaled-down topiary garden of a dog , although I believe that my mother did sometime between 1967 and 1974; indeed, her bouffants achieved mammoth proportions. According to Gone to the Dogs (with their NASA-like Canine Algorithmic Transfer System) my personality is aptly reflected in this café au lait sipping pooch who is "intelligent and fun-loving (you'd have to be, looking like that) ... obedient & sporting, despite its camp looks." Well. Perhaps I'll just stay as I am: a cat person.

If you care to learn more about this most fascinating creature (and a shameless movie promotion), click the green play button below. If you don't give a rat's ass about me, you can check here (click My Dog on the right, then What Dog Are You?) to find out which Spot is your soul-mate.

Woof!

14 Comments:

Blogger ByronB said...

Well, well - so I'm a Cocker Spaniel!
Still, my alter ego is a KAVKAZSKAYA OVCHARKA / CAUCASIAN SHEEPDOG (OWTCHARKA), so there!

10:45 a.m.  
Blogger Cat in Rabat ( كات في الرباط) said...

That's a mouthful. But does KAVKAZSKAYA OVCHARKA / CAUCASIAN SHEEPDOG (OWTCHARKA)(see how I shamelessly copied & pasted that?) have pretty pompoms on their knees?

11:47 a.m.  
Anonymous chrisso said...

I'm Big Red - an Irish Setter. Which may explain all the drinking and no, not out of the toilet!

12:16 p.m.  
Blogger ByronB said...

I think they EAT things that have pompoms on their knees!

12:39 p.m.  
Blogger Cat in Rabat ( كات في الرباط) said...

I could hardly blame them.

12:49 p.m.  
Anonymous Myrtus said...

hah! You're talking about Moroccan dogs here, right? Cat how long have you lived in Morocco?
Don't you know that Moroccan dogs are nocturnal pack animals that love to bark especially at night? (:

1:37 p.m.  
Blogger Cat in Rabat ( كات في الرباط) said...

But Myrtus: these aren't wild dogs. They live here. In people's backyards. Is it just me that's going insane? Doesn't it drive others batty???

1:52 p.m.  
Anonymous Myrtus said...

But I thought most Moroccan dogs live somewhere, they belong to somebody yet they're always roaming around freely being a nuisance everywhere. I haven't been in Morocco for many years now, has that changed recenly?

2:39 p.m.  
Blogger Cat in Rabat ( كات في الرباط) said...

Myrtus you may be correct. The dogs in my neighbourhood are definitely neighbourhood dogs, and some do live in the nearby embassy coumpounds. The scary part is that I know their "voices" - amazing how you can differentiate between barks.

2:43 p.m.  
Blogger knarf said...

I don't know what dog I am, and quite frankly don't give a shit - I suppose that later I'll play the game, but not now.

Two things come to mind with your post. Remember Elaine and her yappy dog? All you have to do is call Newman, and he'll "dispose" of them for you.

Secondly, a tear for Joe Jackson's best ever song.

"And now I plough through piles
Of bills, receipts and credit cards
And tickets and the Daily News
And sometimes I just . . .

Wanna go back to my home town
Though I know it'll never be the same
Back to my home town
'Cause it's been so long
And I'm wondering if it's still there..."

sigh...

8:12 p.m.  
Blogger knarf said...

I did the test. A couple of comments:

1) was it actually designed by dogs? I think so, because it's slow and stupid. Then the use the acronym CATS, as if to blame it on superior felines.

2) Odd how the intelligence choices don't include "stupid". There's average, above average and high. What about below average? That would by definition include 50% of the human population!

3) I'm a Saint Bernard. Saint Bernard? C'mon, that's bullshit. Chrisso's a St. Bernard. I don't know what I am, because I'm not a dog guy, but I'm not a St. Bernard...

Fun test, though.

9:36 p.m.  
Anonymous Liosliath said...

Do you remember that Roald Dahl story where he put all the pheasants to sleep (temporarily!) with drugged raisins? Just a thought.

About dogs, we have lots of wild and semi-wild dogs in the Gorge. They bark all night, too, unless I chase them up the mountain cursing and yelling. My own dog, however, sleeps happily the whole night through. (full belly, I guess)

I'm a German Shepherd. As soon as I saw "France" in your dog description, I must confess, I hit the stop button.

11:13 p.m.  
Blogger Cat in Rabat ( كات في الرباط) said...

Knarf: "Of all the stupid things I could have thought this was the worst I started to believe that I was born at seventeen ..."

11:14 p.m.  
Blogger Cat in Rabat ( كات في الرباط) said...

Liosliath: can you send some drugges raisins on the next CTM bus?

11:15 p.m.  

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